🦅 Happy Wednesday Everyone! Today’s newsletter: 753 words…2.8 mins
🗞 Today’s Edition: Greta’s Freedom Flotilla stalked by drones; Elon loses his mind; Schumer’s “We’re All Gonna Die” Act… & more!
🚨 Watch For: German Chancellor Merz’s visit to the White House - Thursday, June 5th
♟️THE CHESSBOARD
Geopolitics Decoded In 3 Moves
☎ Putin-Trump Phone-Call: Ukraine’s About To Be Wrecked…
Trump's 75-minute call with Putin revealed two stark truths:
1⃣ Russia will retaliate for Ukraine's drone strikes (41 bombers destroyed)
2⃣ The U.S. Embassy just warned Americans in Kyiv to stockpile supplies amid imminent attack risks.
🔥 Key Takeaways:
Putin accused Ukraine of "terrorist acts" for striking civilian trains over the weekend.
Trump called the chat "constructive" but admitted no peace is near.
Iran nuke talks got a surprise cameo: Putin offered to mediate.
🔍 Bottom Line: Putin’s revenge is coming and Kyiv’s air raid apps just got more downloads than TikTok.
⛵ Greta Sails To Gaza - Lions to Lambs
Greta Thunberg’s ragtag flotilla (12 activists - featuring a Game of Thrones actor and banned French MEP Rima Hassan) set sail on the high-seas to enter a warzone and “break Israel’s blockade”. Israel vowed to "handle" the situation.
🧠 New Intel:
Drone Alert: Greece seems to be trolling them with a surveillance drone overhead.
Reality Sets In: Hassan begged Brazil’s Lula for "protection" via social media.
Israel’s Playbook: Defense Minister Katz may intercept the ship or arrest the activists. (…so much for “freedom” flotilla)
🔥 Mission Update:
Aid for Gaza ❌
Cameras ✅
Virtue Signaling ✅
⚡Israel’s Gaza Gambit: The “Anti-Terror” Palestinian Militia
A new IDF-backed militia led by Yasser Abu Shabab (ex-Hamas jailbird) now patrols Rafah—wearing “Anti-Terror Service” patches, hunting Hamas, and doling out aid with U.S. contractors. Twist: This Bedouin leader admits “Hamas left us nothing”, as videos of his armed, flag-draped squad go viral.
❓ Why It Matters:
First Palestinian force openly allied with Israel
🔍 The Bigger Play: Israel may be testing a “post-Hamas” Gaza prototype—outsourcing order to local proxies, with global players watching the fallout.
🗽 THE EMPIRE FILES
Political Drama From DC To NYC
💀 Schumer’s “Well, We’re All Going To Die Act”- YES, REALLY
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY), rebranded Trump’s "Big Beautiful Bill" as the "Well, We’re All Going to Die Act"—a savage dig at Sen. Joni Ernst’s (R-IA) tone-deaf town hall remark dismissing Medicaid cuts with "we all die anyway"
🏦 The CBO projects:
$2.4T added to deficit
$3.7T in cut taxes
$500B Medicare cuts
💭 Thoughts: Politics 2025 = Better Than Reality TV 😆
🚨 "Jew-Hater" Protestor’s Hamas Ties
Tarek Bazrouk, 20, faces federal hate crimes for assaulting Jewish protesters while wearing Hamas' green headband. He participated in Columbia campus protests even though he wasn’t a student.
📞 Phone Texts Revealed:
Direct chats with Hamas' al-Qassam Brigades
Nearly set Jewish students on fire, but couldn’t because “there were too many people around”
Texts vowing to "boom boom" Jews and celebrating relatives in Hamas
$750K cash and weapons stash at home
🔍 Bottom Line: Antisemitism on campuses is a microcosm of the radicalism spreading across America today.
🤖 CODES & POWER
Tech Wars, Crypto Chaos, and AI’s Black Mirror Moments
🚀 xAI'S $5B Debt Gambit: Musk Bets the Farm on AI Arms Race
Elon's xAI (now merged with X) is raising $5B in high-yield debt (12% interest!) to fund its "Colossus" supercomputer, while a $300M share sale values the combo at $113B—half OpenAI's worth but twice the drama.
💸 Bottom Line: Musk’s debt-fueled AI sprint risks becoming a $5B treadmill—just to keep pace with OpenAI/Google.
Your move, Sam Altman.
⚡Sberbank’s Sanctions-Busting Bitcoin Bonds
Russia's largest bank now offers Bitcoin-linked structured bonds—but only for elite clients. The catch? Returns depend on both BTC's price and USD/RUB rates, creating a Kremlin-approved crypto loophole without actual crypto.
🧠 Why It Matters:
Dual Exposure: Profit from Bitcoin’s volatility + USD/RUB forex swings
Sanctions Playbook: Russia’s testing crypto as a SWIFT workaround
U.S. Response: Could accelerate SEC approvals for crypto ETFs/futures
📜THE DEEP DIVE
One killer insight to stash in your back pocket
💣 ELON VS. TRUMP: The Billionaire’s Nuclear Meltdown
Elon Musk just went thermonuclear on Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill”—calling it a “disgusting abomination” and asking his followers to “KILL THE BILL” - in a 20+ post blitz on X.
🔪 The Real Beef?
Axios reports Elon’s rage is personal:
EV Tax Credit Axed (After Tesla spent $240K lobbying)
White House Role Revoked (Special advisor gig ended)
Starlink Snub (FAA rejected satellite air traffic control)
NASA Betrayal (Ally Jared Isaacman’s nomination killed)
🔥 Republican Crack-Up
His posts rallied anti-spending hawks like Rand Paul—while Trump loyalists dismiss him: “Second fiddle to the President.”
😳 Surprise Tag-Team
Dems like Schumer are loving Elon’s meltdown—literally waving his tweets in pressers. Meanwhile, Trump and… Elizabeth Warren (yes, Pocahontas) just teamed up to kill the debt ceiling forever. 2025 IS WILD.
📉 Wall Street Wobbles
Tesla/SpaceX dipped 3%, and Goldman warns a failed bill = market chaos.
👀 Bottom Line: Remains to be seen whether Elon’s nuclear response owes to a petty personal grudge or genuine concern about the American economy.
💀 THE ROAST
Because World Leaders Beg To Be Dragged
🔌 Power Plug: Reality TV Producers are taking notes…and we’ve only just hit mid-week.