Happy Thursday Everyone! Today’s newsletter: 1,053 words…4 mins
🗞 Today’s Edition: UK’s Royal Air Force Goes Vegan, China’s Zombie Jets, Erdogan at the White House, Nicolas Sarkozy Gets Five Years In Prison, Hochul Gets Viciously Booed, DC Shutdown Theatre … & much more!
📜THE HIGHLIGHT
One killer insight to stash in your back pocket
Trump and Erdogan at the Oval Office
🇺🇸 🇹🇷 Trump & Erdogan’s High-Stakes Reset
President Trump just bet billions in jets that he can pull Turkey from Russia’s orbit. The centerpiece of Erdogan’s first White House visit in six years was a sweeping deal:
Advanced F-35s and F-16s for Turkey in exchange for ditching Russian oil and defense ties.
🛢 The play is pure transactional diplomacy:
Trump publicly pressed Erdogan to stop buying Russian oil
The prize? U.S. would drop the CAATSA sanctions law and let Ankara rejoin the F-35 program, from which it was expelled in 2019 for buying Russian S-400s.
The potential package, including Boeing aircraft and U.S. LNG purchases, could hit $50 billion.
👀 But the devil is in the DC details:
A major hurdle is Congress, where a powerful Israel-Greece lobby will fiercely oppose arming Ankara.
Erdogan not only called Israel’s Gaza actions “genocide”; but he also publicly stated that “Hamas was not a terrorist organization”
💡Why it matters: Even though the U.S. is signaling it’s ready to reboot ties with a NATO frenemy who holds sway in Syria, the Black Sea, and energy corridors, big questions remain: Can Washington sell warplanes to a leader still flirting with Moscow? And will Israel tolerate a U.S.-Turkey defense bromance that could reshuffle Middle East airpower?
♟️THE CHESSBOARD
Geopolitics Decoded In 3 Moves
Main: French Presidential Palace - The Elysee Palace; Inset: Nicolas Sarkozy with Muammar Gaddafi
🇫🇷 Sarkozy Gets Five Years: French Justice Goes Full Marie Antoinette
Former French President Nicolas Sarkozy was sentenced to prison for conspiring to secure illegal Libyan campaign cash from Gaddafi in 2007—first French head of state to face jail time.
Yes, the same Sarkozy that helped topple Gaddafi in 2011.
Key documents include a 2006 Libyan intelligence note outlining a €50 million "agreement" for campaign support.
Political fallout: Right-wing allies scream "witch hunt," while the left celebrates elite accountability. Appeal coming, but unlike his previous suspended sentences, this one's immediately enforceable.
Sarkozy, accompanied in court by his wife Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, stated:
“If they absolutely want me to sleep in prison, I will sleep in prison. But with my head held high. I am innocent. This injustice is a scandal.”
Global implications: African observers celebrate the verdict, calling it karma for Libya's destabilization. This also sets a precedent for prosecuting former leaders worldwide.
💡 Bottom line: French politics just got messier—and every world leader with foreign donor ties is sweating.
🎪 RAF Goes Vegan: Because Nothing Says "Air Superiority" Like Pleather Boots
The madness: British Royal Air Force (RAF) now offers vegan uniforms after aircrew complained that leather boots and wool berets violated their ethical beliefs. Yes, really.
Peak 2025 energy: The same military that survived the Blitz is now debating whether synthetic materials properly express their pilots' "authentic selves" while dogfighting.
The MOD says it’s about “inclusion”; critics say it’s proof Britain’s simply gone mad. This is the first official vegan kit in UK military history and might spread across NATO.
💡Bottom line: The same people cleared to drop bombs from the sky, can now do it guilt-free in cruelty-free footwear and hats. Next up, ethically sourced grenades and eco-friendly bombs.
🚨China's Zombie Jet Army: When Your Grandpa's Fighter Gets a Grim Reaper Glow-Up
China just unveiled combat drones made from its retired J-6 aircrafts—1950s Soviet MiG-19 knockoffs. 3,000 supersonic kamikaze jets stand ready for Taiwan's worst Tuesday ever.
Each J-6 carries 550 pounds of "democracy adjustment tools" at Mach 1.3.
Taiwanese General admits he's more worried about these vintage death machines than China's fancy missiles.
Patriots cost $4M each—do the math.
Analysts warn of mass swarm attacks to exhaust Taiwan’s interceptors and bleed Patriot inventories.
💡Bottom line: China just weaponized nostalgia.
🗽THE EMPIRE FILES
Political Drama From DC To NYC
⛳ Hochul's Ryder Cup Roast: When Golf Crowds Go Full Roman Colosseum
The scene: NY Governor Kathy Hochul got absolutely destroyed by Long Island golf fans at the Ryder Cup opening ceremony. "You're the worst!" and "Get outta here, Kathy!" echoed across Bethpage Black.
Peak cringe: NBC's Carson Daly tried damage control with "that went well" after Hochul's swift exit. Spoiler: It didn't work.
The booing persisted each time her name was mentioned, even during other speeches.
The memes: Social media exploded with footage of America's most awkward political moment since... last week's political moment.
⚡Bottom line: Brutal optics for Hochul, who smiled through the storm.
🇺🇸 🎭 DC Shutdown Theater: When Both Sides Think They're Playing 4D Chess
Trump cancels meetings with Schumer, GOP wants "clean" 7-week funding, Dems demand $1.3 trillion in health care sweeteners. Sept 30 deadline looming.
Peak irony: Democrats now refusing the same "clean" stopgaps they passed 13 times under Biden.
Fetterman's calling it a "honey trap"— far-right Project 2025 gets more power if government shuts down.
⚡Bottom line: Republicans betting Schumer will blink first. Dems betting Americans blame Trump for chaos. Spoiler: Voters hate everyone when their national parks close.
🤖 CODES & POWER
Tech Wars, Crypto Chaos, and AI’s Black Mirror Moments
🤖 Grok and xAI Go To Washington
Elon Musk just undercut the AI market—hard. His startup xAI struck a deal with the feds to sell Grok access for 42 cents (vs. $1 from OpenAI and Anthropic).
The GSA contract even includes xAI engineers to help integrate the bot.
The 42? Likely a Musk meme—either 420 humor or Hitchhiker’s Guide lore.
⚡But after Grok’s “MechaHitler” fiasco earlier this year, watchdogs are asking: bargain deal or ticking time bomb?
🚚 Amazon Makes $2.5B settlement With FTC
Amazon just wrote a massive check to make the FTC go away.
The company will pay $2.5B: $1B in penalties and $1.5B in refunds to 35M customers—after regulators accused it of tricking users into signing up for Prime and making cancellation a maze.
Eligible users will get $51 each within 90 days.
⚡Amazon admits no wrongdoing, but the FTC called it a “monumental win.” For Amazon, it’s pocket change: just 0.1% of its $2.4T market cap.
📺 FUN FACTS & TRIVIA
The Most Covered Song EVER
The Beatles' "Yesterday" holds the record for the most cover versions, with over 2,200 recorded by other artists.