Happy Wednesday Everyone! Today’s newsletter: 1,003 words…3.8 mins
🗞 Today’s Edition: NY Gov Plays “Therapist”, Bezos-Sweeney Lingerie Biz, Starmer’s Red Wedding, Bahrain Courts Trump, Obamas Roast Divorce Rumors, Elon’s Anime Girlfriends… & much more!
🚨 Watch For:
Rumors that Fed Chair Powell is about to get fired, hit fever pitch. President Trump told reporters he won’t. (S&P 500 falls into the Red, then sharply rebounds) Markets remain wary.
Potential finalized deal on TikTok sale this week.
📜THE HIGHLIGHT
One killer insight to stash in your back pocket
From Left: NY Gov. Kathy Hochul; Socialist Zohran Mamdani; Republican Curtis Sliwa; Independent Eric Adams; Independent Andrew Cuomo
🗽 NY Gov. Activates “Therapist-in-Chief” Mode
Gov. Kathy Hochul says she’s the state’s new “therapist-in-chief”—but really, she’s NYC’s last firewall against Zohran Mamdani’s radical economic overhaul. Mamdani’s surprise primary win sent shockwaves through the Dem Party.
Now, Hochul has gone full damage control:
Reassuring Wall Street
Calming CEOs
And pre-blasting Mamdani’s “Tax the Rich” plan.
💰 The flashpoint: Mamdani’s wealth tax (2% on $1M+ earners, corp rate hike to 11.5%) funds free child care, buses, even public supermarkets.
Hochul calls it a “job killer”, vowing to block any Albany approval from progressives/socialists.
Jamie Dimon dubbed Mamdani a “Marxist,” and top execs totally ghosted his business summit.
🔥 Meanwhile, Mamdani’s refusal to denounce the “Globalize the Intifada” chant stirred outrage. Hochul demanded he “heal” relations with NYC’s Jewish community—her clearest signal she may withhold endorsement.
📉 The 2025 NYC race is chaos: Andrew Cuomo joins Mayor Adams in running as an Independent - splitting the vote. Curtis Sliwa is the Republican frontrunner, while Mamdani holds a lead.
💡 Bottom line: Hochul’s hugs come with hand grenades—she’s not just calming nerves, she’s drawing red lines.
♟️THE CHESSBOARD
Geopolitics Decoded In 3 Moves
🪓 Starmer’s Red Wedding: 4 Labour MPs Axed Over Rebellion
🇬🇧 Keir Starmer suspended 4 Labour MPs—Neil Duncan-Jordan, Brian Leishman, Chris Hinchliff, and a fourth unnamed rebel—after 47 defectors sank his welfare reforms—the largest revolt of his premiership.
⚖️ The Subtext
Power Play: Starmer’s “discipline” crackdown masks panic—his centrist agenda faces growing left-wing mutiny.
Welfare Wars: Rebels accuse reforms of kicking the vulnerable; Starmer insists they’re “fiscally responsible.”
Domino Risk? With two more MPs under review, Labour’s unity looks shakier than a Tory poll lead.
👑 London Angle: Suspended MPs now sit as independents—but if they flip to Corbyn’s socialist campaign group, Starmer’s majority could crumble faster than a soggy biscuit at Buckingham Palace tea.
🇺🇸 Bahrain Courts Trump: $17B Deal + Nuclear Talks in Oval Office
🫅 President Donald Trump hosted Bahrain’s Crown Prince & PM Salman in the Oval Office, sealing a $17B U.S. investment spree—including a $7B Boeing/GE jet deal and Cisco contracts to replace Chinese tech.
The duo also kicked off civil nuclear cooperation talks, eyeing a future “123 Agreement” for peaceful energy use.
High-level guests: Sec. of State Marco Rubio and Bahrain’s FM joined the signing.
💡 Why it matters: The visit follows heightened regional tensions and U.S. moves to build stronger, diversified alliances in the Gulf. Bahrain’s betting big on Team Trump (again).
🇮🇱 Israel Strikes Damascus, Sends Message to Syria’s New Prez
⚔ In a major escalation for the sectarian violence and clashes from this week, Israel launched airstrikes on Damascus, targeting Syria’s military HQ and a site near President Ahmed Al Sharaa’s palace—its boldest move since Assad’s ouster.
The IDF says it’s protecting Druze civilians caught in bloody clashes in Suweida, warning: withdraw or face more strikes.
💥 1 killed, 18 injured as explosions rocked central Damascus—caught live on Syrian TV.
⚔ Syria’s HTS group entered the Al-Suweida hospital and massacred doctors, nurses and patients, in its latest attack.
🧨 Israeli defense chief: “Signaling is over—now come the painful blows.”
📉 Bottom Line: Regional stability and normalization talks? Hanging by a drone thread.
🗽THE EMPIRE FILES
Political Drama From DC To NYC
Pentagon officials release groundbreaking footage of strikes on Iran’s nuclear facilities
🪄 Bezos Backs Sydney Sweeney’s Lingerie Line
🏦 Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and wife Lauren Sánchez are backing Sydney Sweeney’s upcoming lingerie brand—marking the actress’s first solo business venture.
💸 The investment is part of a new $1B private equity fund (also backed by Michael Dell), with Sweeney’s label among its early bets.
💃 Bottom line: From bathwater soap drops to Bezos-backed lingerie, Sweeney’s turning internet chaos into capital.
Obama’s Roast Divorce Rumors With Podcast PDA
🎙️ "She Took Me Back!" Barack & Michelle Obama trolled divorce rumors on her brother Craig Robinson’s "IMO" podcast, joking their marriage was "touch and go"—while Craig Robinson deadpanned: "Wait, you guys like each other?"
Context: Speculation soared after Michelle skipped Trump’s inauguration, Carter’s funeral (and President Obama was spotted having several lonely dinners at DC restaurants) - which she called "my choice as a free woman" .
💘 The Real Tea: Michelle shuts it down - "Not one moment did I think of quitting my man."
🤖 CODES & POWER
Tech Wars, Crypto Chaos, and AI’s Black Mirror Moments
👀 Musk’s Hiring People To Create Anime Girlfriends
🤖 Elon Musk’s AI company, xAI, is hiring engineers to create AI-powered anime companions—yes, really. The job title? “Fullstack Engineer – Waifus.”
xAI is offering $180K–$440K (plus equity) to engineers who can perfect “Ani,” a flirtatious anime AI that strips to lingerie, and “Bad Rudi,” a profanity-spewing red panda.
🫠 Bottom Line: While xAI claims it’s about “understanding the universe,” critics call it “Black Mirror meets OnlyFans”—especially after “Ani” went NSFW and Grok spawned “MechaHitler” memes.
📈 Peter Thiel Bets Big on Ether—Markets Go Wild
Tech billionaire Peter Thiel just took a 9% stake in Bitmine, an ether-focused treasury firm led by market guru Tom Lee.
The result? Shares surged 22%, with other Ethereum-linked stocks riding the wave.
Thiel’s bet fuels a growing trend: turning companies into ETH-holding giants—a crypto playbook inspired by MicroStrategy’s Bitcoin binge.
📺 FUN FACTS & TRIVIA
President Martin Van Buren
The Origin of the phrase ‘OK’ is….. ‘Oll Korrect’
It dates back to the fad of intentionally misspelling words in 1930s Boston - much like we do today. Bostonians started spelling ‘All Correct’ as ‘Oll Korrect’.
Abbreviations became all the rage - the precursor to our modern day LOL and OMG. Oll Korrect naturally became OK.
Then in 1840, US President Martin Van Buren, who was originally from Kinderhook in New York, used the phrase for his re-election campaign. His supporters set up ‘Old Kinderhook’, or ‘OK’, clubs across the country.
Soon enough, the term transitioned from slang into legitimate lexicon.
💀 THE ROAST
Because World Leaders Beg To Be Dragged
