Happy Tuesday Everyone! Today’s newsletter: 957 words…3.6 mins
🗞 Today’s Edition: NATO Chief Calls Trump “Daddy”, Communist wins NYC Dem nomination, Trump wants CNN anchor to be “thrown out like a dog” …& much more!
🚨 Watch For: Special Envoy Steve Witkoff teases “big announcement” on new countries joining the Abraham Accords
♟️THE CHESSBOARD
Geopolitics Decoded In 3 Moves
President Trump with NATO Chief Mark Rutte at the NATO Summit
💰 NATO’s “Daddy” Diplomacy
🪖 NATO leaders just locked in a historic 5% of GDP defense target by 2035, doubling budgets to keep Trump onboard and Putin in check. Trump finally backed Article 5, after weeks of suspense.
NATO chief Mark Rutte praised President Trump for brokering the Israel-Iran ceasefire, and hyped Trump’s win on NATO’s defense spending.
Zelensky bagged $40 billion - and made headlines by wearing something almost resembling a suit - let’s call it suit-adjacent (Memes on social went nuts).
🫢 And because geopolitics in 2025 isn’t hilarious enough already, Rutte called Trump “Daddy” on stage— “Daddy has to sometimes use strong language,” he said, as he described the U.S. President’s use of the f* bomb out of frustration with Iran and Israel.
🤔 Bottom line: Europe’s flexing, Trump’s basking, and Rutte’s doing PR with parental energy.
📣 Ukraine’s Courtroom Power Play - Game-Changer or Paper Tiger?
🇺🇦 Zelensky, suited up (somewhat) and stone-faced, inked a deal with the Council of Europe to create a “special tribunal” targeting Russia for the “crime of aggression.” He shaded the ICC as toothless, calling The Hague the perfect venue to prosecute Russian leaders. Speech ended with “Glory to Ukraine”— ironically, a slogan used by Nazi-era war criminal, Stepan Bandera.
Why It Matters: This tribunal is the first dedicated international body to prosecute senior Russian leaders.
⚡Roast: UN staffers placing bets on whether the first indictment drops before or after Putin's next shirtless horseback photo op.
🚣 UK Blames Russia for the Migrant Boats
🇬🇧 The British government claims Russia is helping smuggling gangs flood the UK with illegal migrant boats—allegedly providing fake documents, transport routes, even military escorts to destabilize Europe.
Convenient timing: NATO just reclassified border security as part of defense spending, with illegal migration now a tier-one threat.
⚡Roast: When your border policy fails so hard you need a Russian conspiracy to explain it.
🗽THE EMPIRE FILES
Political Drama From DC To NYC
Dems join Republicans to kill motion to impeach President Trump
Source: C-SPAN
😵💫 AOC-Trump Impeachment Drama Fizzles Out
AOC called Trump’s Iran strikes “grounds for impeachment”—prompting Trump’s Dirty Harry-style Truth Social retort: “Go ahead… MAKE MY DAY!”.
With Rep. Al Green’s proposal to impeach already in consideration, the House swiftly put it to a vote. Results? 344-79 to kill the motion, with even Dems bailing.
✂ CNN’s Billion-Dollar Haircut Incoming?
Warner Bros. Discovery will split into two companies by 2026—one runs HBO, the other gets CNN. The problem? CNN’s pricey anchors may not make the cut.
💸 Anderson Cooper’s $18M salary = new target.
🎬 Zaslav keeps the movies (and a possible $150M stock boost).
📉 For CNN: layoffs and lean budgets ahead.
😁 Bonus Info: CNN commentator who covered the false “intel leak” on US’s strike on Iran - is now on Trump’s blacklist. He posted asking for her to be “thrown out like a dog”.
🤖 CODES & POWER
Tech Wars, Crypto Chaos, and AI’s Black Mirror Moments
Chime’s NASDAQ IPO
🤑 JPMorgan’s AI Bond Trader: Your Phone Just Became a Hedge Fund
📱 The bank’s new mobile app automates bond trading using AI—letting retail investors mimic Wall Street’s algo tricks. Once seen as slow to innovate, the bank is shooting for $1 trillion in self‑directed assets. Catch? It’s a data goldmine for JPMorgan.
💰 Why It Matters: This move turns boring fixed-income into a handheld flex—Wall Street’s answer to TikTok trading, but with yield curves.
🤖 Meta’s WhatsApp Now Summarizes Your Drama—With AI
Meta’s new AI summaries in WhatsApp will condense chaotic group chats into bullet points. Upside? No more scrolling. Downside? Zuckerberg’s bots now interpret your texts—raising privacy alarms.
🍎 NYC angle: Wall Street already uses it to skim trader gossip for market-moving intel.
📜THE DEEP DIVE
One killer insight to stash in your back pocket
Left to Right: Socialist-Democrat Mayor nominee Zohran Mamdani; Democratic Socialists of America protesting; Former NY Governor and Mayoral candidate Andrew Cuomo
😵 Mamdani’s Win = The Democrat Party’s Radical Tipping Point
Zohran Mamdani’s primary victory isn’t just about NYC—it’s a political asteroid strike for the Democratic Party, accelerating its leftward lurch into democratic socialism, Marxist-adjacent policies, and controversial alliances with radical Islamist factions. Here’s why:
1. The DSA’s Hostile Takeover
Mamdani is a card-carrying Democratic Socialist (DSA), backed by Bernie Sanders and AOC, whose platform includes:
Rent freezes (dubbed “Soviet-style” by critics).
City-run grocery stores and free buses—a Trojan horse for state-controlled services.
Tax hikes targeting the wealthy (despite Gov. Hochul warning it’ll trigger a business exodus).
The DSA’s playbook—once fringe—is now mainstreamed via Mamdani’s campaign, with national Democrats forced to either embrace or reject it.
2. The Islamist Elephant in the Room
Mamdani’s defense of “globalize the intifada” and refusal to condemn antisemitic slogans have alarmed moderates, while his Muslim identity (he’d be NYC’s first Muslim mayor) has galvanized far-left and Islamist blocs. Critics argue his rhetoric emboldens anti-Israel extremism, fracturing the Dems’ traditional pro-Israel coalition.
3. The Moderate Meltdown
Centrist panic: Third Way warns Mamdani’s nomination would be a “devastating blow” against defeating Trumpism, handing Republicans easy attack ads.
Establishment sabotage: Cuomo’s camp paints Mamdani as a “barbarian at the gate,” while the Chicago Tribune compares him to Chicago’s failed socialist mayor, Brandon Johnson. Mayor Eric Adams calls him a “snake-oil salesman”.
Elite flight: Wall Street and business leaders are already drafting exit plans, fearing a Mamdani win could crater NYC’s economy.
4. The National Domino Effect
Mamdani’s win could potentially mean:
Progressive copycats: DSA candidates will flood 2026 midterms, pushing “free everything” platforms nationwide.
Party civil war: Moderates (like Biden’s wing) vs. socialists (AOC’s squad) could split the Dems into two parties.
GOP weaponization: They will frame the Dems as “Marxist-Islamist collaborators,” leveraging Mamdani’s Gaza stance and DSA ties.
💥 BOTTOM LINE: Mamdani’s rise isn’t an outlier—it’s the canary in the coal mine for a party hurtling toward ideological extremism. NYC’s primary isn’t just a mayoral race; it’s a referendum on whether the Democratic Party still believes in capitalism.
Watch for Wall Street donors to quietly back sitting Mayor Eric Adams (now running as an Independent) and the GOP nominee, Curtis Sliwa.
💀 THE ROAST
Because World Leaders Beg To Be Dragged
🔌 Power Plug: “Meta’s AI summaries: So Zuckerberg can finally understand your 3 a.m. conspiracy texts.” - @NewzHawk