Happy Wednesday Everyone! Todayâs newsletter: 1,236 wordsâŚ4.7 mins
đ Todayâs Edition: Labubu Skyrockets, Russia Calls Macron A âBrainless Roosterâ, Russian Mice vs Katy Perry, Spainâs Summer From Hell, Putin Gifts Alaskan A Motorcycle, White House Hits Tiktok, Vatican Chef In NYC ⌠& much more!
đ¨ Watch For:
Putin-Zelensky Bilateral to be announced shortly
đTHE HIGHLIGHT
One killer insight to stash in your back pocket
Left: Pop Mart store; Foreground: K-popstar BLACKPINKâs Lisa showing off her Labubu keychains; Right: Labubus
đšLabubu: Chinaâs $40B Toy Demon or Gen Z Holy Grail?
Pop Mart's ugly-cute Labubu dolls are having their main character moment in Americaâand it's absolutely unhinged.
The Beijing toy company's net profit exploded 400% in early 2025
U.S. sales of this creepy gremlin surged 5,000% year-over-year. No, that's not a typo.
The Numbers Are Bonkers:
Pop Mart now outvalues Mattel and Sanrio, hitting a $40 billion market cap.
Nearly 40% of revenue comes from overseas, with celebrity endorsements from Kim Kardashian and K-pop star Lisa turning these $25 - $100 blind-box toys into cultural crack cocaine.
Global Hype = Global Weirdness: Viral TikToks accused Labubu of channeling Pazuzu (yes, the Exorcist demon), sparking doll burnings and DIY exorcisms.
Never mind that experts confirm Labubu's actually inspired by Nordic folkloreâfacts don't trend on social media.
Counterfeits are another nightmare: Fake dolls in the U.S./UK have triggered safety warnings over choking hazards and toxic materials. And the frenzy? Straight-up Black Friday chaos: fights, thefts, even claw-machine raids from London to Shanghai.
đĄ The geopolitical flex? This is Chinese soft power at its finestâconquering American wallets through adorable addiction, even as Washington freaks about TikTok. Sometimes cultural domination comes with fangs and a $100 price tag.
âď¸THE CHESSBOARD
Geopolitics Decoded In 3 Moves
đ Russia Calls Macron A âBrainless Roosterâ
Dmitry Medvedev - former President, current deputy security czar, âŚand Russiaâs one-man burn unit; went rogue on X calling French President Macron a âBrainless Gallic Roosterâ for pushing European troop deployments at the White House summit.
Context: The rooster is Franceâs national symbol (yes, really).
This insult also directly contradicts the breakthrough the European leaders celebrated at the White House.
While Trump announced Putin had agreed to NATO-style security guarantees for Ukraine (including potential European "reassurance forces"), Medvedev doubled down on Russiaâs red line: no NATO troops in Ukraine.
đĄ Bottom Line: Either Putin's playing mind games with these mixed messages, or his deputies didn't get the memo.
đď¸Putinâs Motorcycle Diplomacy
At the Trump-Putin summit in Alaska, Vladimir Putin staged an unusual goodwill gesture: gifting Anchorage resident Mark Warren a brand-new $22K Ural motorcycle.
Warren went viral on Russian TV after Russian state journalists interviewed him in Alaska.
He lamented that U.S. sanctions made parts for his old Soviet-era Ural nearly impossible to find.
Days later, Russian diplomats delivered the bike in a hotel parking lot, filming his first ride for state media. Warren then commented on the backlash he received:
âI pâed off all sorts of people. I took it. I could have not taken it, and probably pâed off just as many people as doing that. I donât care.â
đĄ Why it matters: Beyond the feel-good optics, the episode underscored how sanctions hit ordinary Americansâand how the Kremlin seizes on such moments for soft propaganda.
đŞđ¸ đĽ Spainâs Summer From Hell
Spain is burning â literally. Wildfires have scorched 380,000+ hectares this year, blowing past the 2022 record, as temperatures for two weeks have exceeded 45°C (113°F).
Entire regions (Ourense, LeĂłn, Galicia) are scorched earth
31,000+ evacuated in days and at least 4 dead.
PM SĂĄnchez toured the ruins, praised firefighters, and dropped 500 more military personnel into the fight. Heâs also pushing a national climate pact â part solidarity, part SOS.
The real story isnât the flames, but the systemic collapse they expose: rural depopulation leaves land untended, creating a tinderbox.
đĄ Bottom Line: This is a live-fire drill for the EUâs southern flank, testing disaster response and migration pressures. Madridâs crisis is a warning for all of Mediterranean Europe.
đ˝THE EMPIRE FILES
Political Drama From DC To NYC
đşđ¸ đąWhite House Hits TikTok
The Trump White House finally launched its official TikTok (@whitehouse) on Aug. 19, debuting with a montage of Trump declaring, âI am your voice.â
The move comes weeks before TikTokâs Sept. 17 deadline to sever ties with ByteDance or face a U.S. ban.
The timing isnât random: Washington insiders say a TikTok deal is close, easing national security fears that once kept the West Wing off the app. Trumpâwho credits TikTok for boosting his 2024 youth voteânow wants the platform in his official toolkit.
đĄ Translation: The White House thinks TikTok isnât dying⌠itâs about to be reborn, America-first style.
đ From Pope's Kitchen to SoHo Streets: Holy Pasta
Former Vatican chef Salvo Lo Castro traded blessing bread for bleeding rent, opening his first NYC restaurant Casasalvo in SoHo.
For 10 years, this Sicilian kitchen wizard served Pope John Paul II and Benedict XVI his legendary fettuccineânow available to us mere mortals.
The flex is real: Lo Castro has cooked for everyone from Putin and Gaddafi to Tom Cruise and Leo DiCaprio. His philosophy? "Every man I cook for is a king"âunless they're splitting the check, presumably.
đ¤ CODES & POWER
Tech Wars, Crypto Chaos, and AIâs Black Mirror Moments
đđˇđş :Russian Mice And Fruit Flies Heading To Space
Move over Katy Perry - new astronauts are in town. Russian mice and fruit flies are heading into space on Aug 20th.
Russia is sending 75 mice and 1,500 fruit flies on a month-long orbital mission.
The "Noah's Ark" Bion-M No. 2 mission is studying radiation effects on living organismsâyou know, useful stuff for Mars colonization.
Meanwhile, Katy Perry and Gayle King took their own 11-minute joyride to the edge of space:
Katy Perry even sang âWhat a Wonderful World,â complete with album promo.
Gayle King snapped at a reporter for calling her a âpassenger.â She was an âastronautâ she said, because she received pre-flight training.
đ Bottom Line: So the burning question remains: Who won? Team Katy & Gayle OR Team Mice & Fruit Flies?
đ¨đł Yuan-backed Stablecoins
Chinaâs central bank â the Peopleâs Bank of China (PBOC) â is testing yuan-backed stablecoins with state-owned banks.
The idea: Use blockchain rails for trade settlement while keeping Beijingâs tight control over money flows.
Unlike dollar-backed stablecoins that live on the free-market, Chinaâs version would be centralized, surveilled, and exportable.
đĄ Why it matters: If China nails a yuan-backed stablecoin, it could chip away at the dollarâs dominance in global trade â giving Beijing both financial firepower and data visibility. For the U.S. and its allies, this isnât just fintech; itâs a currency war with blockchain weapons.
đş FUN FACTS & TRIVIA
Main: Tsar Peter I (Peter the Great) of Russia; Inset: Silver token
Peter the Greatâs Beard Tax
Tsar Peter I of Russia travelled across Europe incognito, during his Grand Embassy (1697-1698) to learn about building a strong navy among other things. He concluded, Russia needed modernization as well as Western customs.
His verdict - go beardless like European men.
Upon returning, Peter dramatically shaved guests' beards at a reception, then decreed all Russian men be clean-shaven like Europeans.
When this clashed with Russian Orthodox beliefs, he compromised with a beard tax. Nobles paid up to 100 rubles annually; commoners paid 1 kopek. Taxpayers received proof tokens in either silver or copper.