Happy Friday Everyone! Today’s newsletter: 1,063 words…4 mins
🗞 Today’s Edition: Tariff Chaos, US Nuclear Subs Near Russia, SpaceX + NASA Launch Falcon 9, China’s AI Studios, White House Ballroom, Radioactive Wasps … & much more!
📜THE HIGHLIGHT
One killer insight to stash in your back pocket
⏰Trump's Tariffs Have Landed And It’s Chaos In Real Time
It's August 1st—Trump's self-imposed deadline—and most countries are getting slapped with 10-50% tariffs, but the real tea is in the details.
Winners and losers:
The EU squeezed out an 11th-hour deal, but they're already "in revolt," while Canada has basically ghosted the negotiations entirely and have been punished with a 35% rate.
Brazil somehow negotiated their 50% down to 10%—somebody's got game, but Switzerland is stuck at high 39%.
Japan, Philippines and South Korea cut last minute deals while India’s deal is stalled and the nation was slapped with a 25% rate + penalties (+ scorched relations)
China got an extension to Aug 12th and Mexico squeezed out a 90-day reprieve at 25%.
Bonus Slap: Any goods from any country caught transshipping, get hit with an additional 40%.
Economic whiplash incoming: The markets tumbled this morning after the added news of a weak jobs report sparked a sell-off.
At closing, the Dow had plunged 542 points and the S&P 500 (🔻1.2%) shed 100 points (🔻1.6%).
The Commissioner of Labor Statistics - and Biden Appointee, Dr. Erika McEntarfer was fired as the President alleged she “RIGGED” the jobs numbers.
The courtroom drama: Federal courts have ruled Trump's April tariffs "illegal" twice, but appeals are keeping them alive. Whichever side loses, is expected to take their case to the Supreme Court.
And if the Supreme Court kills this thing, we're talking about unwinding billions in trade policy overnight.
💡 Why it matters: Fed Chair Powell's warning about "stagflation", is looking less like fear-mongering and more like prophecy. While Trump demands 3-point rate cuts, his own tariff strategy is forcing the Fed's hand in the opposite direction. Now it’s anyone’s guess if the rates will be cut in September.
♟️THE CHESSBOARD
Geopolitics Decoded In 3 Moves
🇺🇸 🇷🇺 Social Media Spat Escalates: Trump Repositions Nuclear Subs
President Trump and former Russian Pres. Dmitry Medvedev’s social media feud went nuclear. Trump just ordered the repositioning of two nuclear submarines near Russia.
What Happened?
Medvedev called Trump’s Ukraine deadline a “step toward war” (on X)
Trump warned him to “watch his words” (on Truth Social)
Medvedev responded with a threat of Russia’s “Dead Hand” (retaliatory nuke system).
Not one to be out-threatened, Trump ordered two nuclear subs repositioned to “appropriate regions” for Americans’ “safety”.
Trump also slammed the former Russian President’s remarks as “foolish and inflammatory,” warning of unintended consequences. Russia hasn’t responded (yet).
Bottom Line: Trump and Medvedev are playing Nuclear Chicken on social media - Neither actually wants war—just the strongman clout that comes with pretending they might start one.
🔥 Roast: Cue the meme of two grandpas shaking fists from their porches.
🚂 China Opens “Middle Corridor” to Europe — Skips Russia
Beijing just fired up a game-changing rail link to Europe through Central Asia and the Middle East, bypassing Russia (its usual routes) entirely.
It passes through Uzbekistan, Iran, Turkey and onto Europe
Slashes delivery times from China to Iran to 15 days, and to Europe in under 25.
Freight to Iran is already up 2.6x this year.
Counters Western-backed India-Mideast-Europe corridor as well as corridors through Russia.
💡 Why it matters: This isn't just logistics—it's Beijing cementing Belt and Road dominance while creating strategic alternatives to both maritime chokepoints and northern routes. Central Asia suddenly matters way more.
📕 El Salvador’s Forever-President Playbook
President Nayib Bukele's party just nuked presidential term limits, stretched terms to 6 years and cancelled runoff elections, making the populist Bitcoin President, potentially President-for-life.
The legislature passed it by a supermajority (57-0) and synced all elections to 2027 — conveniently cutting his own term short but opening the door to indefinite reelection.
Supporters call it “democratic.” Critics call it “dictatorship, but with ballots.”
🗳️ Bottom Line: Democracy or dynasty? The Salvadoran script just flipped.
🗽THE EMPIRE FILES
Political Drama From DC To NYC
Source: whitehouse.gov/visit
💃 White House To Get A $200M Ballroom
Starting September, the White House gets a Trump-sized glow-up. After 150 years of making do with tacky tents on the South Lawn, America's house finally gets proper entertaining space.
A 90,000 sq ft ballroom decked out in gold, marble, and crystal
Seats up to 650 guests—more than triple the East Room’s 200 guest capacity.
Personally funded by Trump + mystery “patriot donors”, it channels Mar-a-Lago energy into neoclassical opulence.
🪙 Bottom Line: This is less about function, more about legacy—and leaving a gilded stamp on 1600 Pennsylvania.
🐝 Radioactive Wasps: New Nightmare Unlocked
Workers at South Carolina’s Savannah River Site—a Cold War-era nuke factory—discovered four radioactive wasp nests in July, one with 10x the legal radiation limit
The DOE blames “legacy contamination” (not new leaks), and says the nests pose no threat.
☢ The glowing bugs were removed and disposed off as radioactive waste. Still, watchdogs want answers: Why are insects hotter than a microwave burrito at a nuclear waste site?
🤖 CODES & POWER
Tech Wars, Crypto Chaos, and AI’s Black Mirror Moments
Zena Cardman and Mike Fincke from NASA, Kimiya Yui from JAXA, and Oleg Platonov from Roscosmos
China's AI studios are eating Hollywood's lunch 🍿
While OpenAI was busy hyping Sora, Chinese companies were already making bank. ByteDance owns spots #1 and #3 in AI video rankings, Kuaishou's Kling AI pulled $21M in Q1 alone.
The kicker? "Overseas accounts for the majority" of revenue—turns out nobody cares about your AI's passport when it can turn text into blockbuster clips.
⚡ Bottom Line: With 1.4 billion people feeding these models endless TikTok data, China's not just competing—it's directing.
🚀 NASA x SpaceX Send Global Crew to ISS
Crew-11 finally took off on Aug. 1 after a delay, with 4 astronauts (U.S., Japan, Russia) aboard a SpaceX Dragon heading to the ISS for a 6-month science mission.
🧬 Experiments: stem cells, viruses in space, and plant biology.
🔥 Bonus: Falcon 9 booster nailed the landing at Cape Canaveral.
🔍 Bottom Line: Space might be the only place the U.S. and Russia still collaborate without sanctions or side-eyes.
📺 FUN FACTS & TRIVIA
Central Park’s Bigger Than Some Countries
Central Park is bigger than Monaco (843 acres vs. 499). Bonus: It even has its own falconry program to scare off New York’s mafia pigeons.
💀 THE ROAST
Because World Leaders Beg To Be Dragged
