Happy Monday Everyone! Today’s newsletter: 1,045 words…3.9 mins
🗞 Today’s Edition: U.S.-India Relations In Tatters, Lithuania Govt. Resigns, Humanoid Strolls NYC, Russia in Suez, China Blocks Rare Earths, X meets Vine 2.0, Elon’s Payday… & much more!
đź“śTHE HIGHLIGHT
One killer insight to stash in your back pocket
🇮🇳 ⚔ 🇺🇸 India to Trump: Thanks, But No Thanks
The US-India trade war has escalated…big time. President Trump just threatened "substantial" tariffs on Indian goods over Russian oil imports, claiming India "doesn't care" about Ukrainian deaths.
India’s Response? In a sharply worded statement, India came bearing receipts:
Accused the United States and EU of “targeting” India.
Called out hypocrisy: While the US imports Russian uranium and palladium for its nuclear industry, Europe bought €67.5B in Russian goods (not just energy, but also fertilizers, mining products, etc.), vs India's much smaller total.
Revealed that Western countries encouraged India to buy Russian oil in 2022 to stabilize markets—now they’re finger-pointing.
…In this background, the targeting of India is unjustified and unreasonable. Like any major economy, India will take all necessary measures to safeguard its national interests and economic security.
Trump’s threats have unwittingly turbocharged a “Make in India” sentiment in the world’s fourth largest economy:
Modi doubles down with a defiant rally speech vowing to protect Indian farmers and youth, calling the U.S. pressure “global instability.”
No plans to cut Russian crude—they have “long-term deals.”
No tantrum: Instead of retaliation, India’s boosting domestic brands.
Bonus: China has also refused to stop purchasing Russian oil - with reports now emerging of Chinese-Indian ties thawing, amid the common threat of U.S. tariffs.
In the meantime: Sen. Lindsey Graham (R - SC) commends the President on his stance, egging him further to punish India; and far-right Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene suggests banning Indians from receiving H1-Bs.
India’s Endgame? Sacrifice short-term exports for long-term self-reliance—a gambit Trump’s tariffs Trump’s tariffs can’t overturn.
💡 Bottom Line: Trump’s tariffs won’t kill India’s 6.6% GDP growth (maybe a 0.2% trim) But they’ve absolutely killed U.S. leverage—handing Modi a nationalist rallying cry and exposing the West’s selective outrage. Game on.
♟️THE CHESSBOARD
Geopolitics Decoded In 3 Moves
Background: Suez Canal; President of Egypt, Abdel Fattah el-Sisi; Russian President Vladmir Putin
🇱🇹 Lithuania’s Government Collapses—Again
PM Gintautas Paluckas resigns amid corruption probes into shady business deals (including a rat extermination scandal from 2012)—barely 8 months after taking power on an anti-graft platform.
The Drama? The entire Lithuanian government has also now resigned.
Peak irony: The frontrunner to replace him? Mindaugas SinkeviÄŤius, who's literally banned from office until 2027 for... corruption.
NATO's nightmare: Timing couldn’t be worse: Lithuania faces joint Russia-Belarus war games next month. President Nausėda (pro-Ukraine hawk) now races to stabilize a coalition before Moscow tests NATO’s resolve.
💡 Bottom line: Baltic politics just entered scandal-on-scandal mode—and the Social Democrat Party is now scrambling to avoid collapse.
🇨🇳 China Weaponizes Rare Earths
China just slammed the brakes on rare earth exports—the stuff that makes EVs, wind turbines, and F-35s actually work.
Beijing controls ~90% of global refining.
Export volumes dropped 75% in two months (translation: companies like Tesla and Lockheed are suddenly panicking).
U.S. shipments? Stuck in customs limbo.
The move—framed as “strategic”—is Beijing’s latest power play amid rising tech tensions. Europe called it “economic coercion.”
🎯 Bottom line: While everyone focused on semiconductors, China quietly cornered the minerals that power everything. Checkmate.
🚢 Russia Wants In at the Suez
Egypt’s Suez Canal Authority is in talks with Russia for a direct partnership—a major upgrade from Russia’s current role in a nearby economic zone.
Canal chief Osama Rabie says the waterway is “not politicized,” even as Moscow deepens ties in the region.
Russia-Egypt’s $4.6B landmark agreement for the Industrial Zone is already in motion.
A canal deal would supercharge its regional exports.
💡 Why it matters: If signed, this new partnership agreement would give Russia a foothold in one of the world’s most critical trade routes (30% container traffic). Moscow could use this as leverage and potentially squeeze EU supply chains just enough to make them sweat.
đź—˝THE EMPIRE FILES
Political Drama From DC To NYC
🤠Texas’s Redistricting Rodeo
Texas Dems literally fled the state (by private jet) to block GOP redistricting that could hand Republicans 5+ House seats.
Over 50 lawmakers scattered to IL, NY, and MA faster than you can say "gerrymandering."
Why? Breaking quorum = no votes = no new maps.
Gov. Abbott is threatening $500/day fines, arrests, and replacing the runaways.
Meanwhile, blue states like NY and CA are plotting revenge redistricting of their own.
🔥 Roast: Because nothing says "functional democracy" like lawmakers playing interstate hide-and-seek in 2025.
🇺🇸 Robot in Timbs? Must Be Midtown
A $100K humanoid robot strutted down 5th Ave last week—grabbing hot dogs, trying on Hokas, and scaring the TikTok out of New Yorkers.
🎥 It was a viral promo by KraneShares for its new AI + humanoid ETF.
👀 Some called it “the new lightbulb.” One guy literally screamed "Satan, I rebuke you!"
🤖 Built by a Chinese firm, it’s real—and it’s only the beginning.
⚡ Roast: Proof NYC will clap for anything—even our robot overlords.
🤖 CODES & POWER
Tech Wars, Crypto Chaos, and AI’s Black Mirror Moments
🤖 Musk’s $29B Maybe-Maybe-Not Payday
Tesla just awarded Elon Musk 96M shares—worth $29B—if he sticks around for 2 more years.
But… it’s conditional: if Musk wins his $56B 2018 comps lawsuit, this one vanishes.
Musk’s threatening to pivot Tesla’s AI/robotics elsewhere unless he gets 25% control (after quietly launching xAI).
đź‘€ Reminder: Musk also runs xAI, SpaceX and a new political party.
đź’ˇWhy it matters: The Tesla saga is raising red flags about corporate governance, founder power, and how much control one man really needs to build the future.
🤖 Vine 2.0? Now with AI Chaos
Musk’s X is reviving Vine as an AI-driven short-video generator—users type prompts, Grok Imagine creates viral-ready clips.
Users will type prompts like “cat in a Shakespeare play,” and Grok Imagine will auto-generate 6-second videos.
Musk’s endgame: Make X a TikTok + Reels killer.
🔍 Bottom Line: This isn’t nostalgia—it’s Musk's full-court press to turn X into an all-in-one content machine.
đź“ş FUN FACTS & TRIVIA
Medieval Animal Court
In medieval England and France, animals were sometimes put on trial for crimes. In 1457, a pig in France was convicted of murder and hanged. Similarly, mice were accused of stealing crops.
And yes, the animals were given lawyers too.
đź’€ THE ROAST
Because World Leaders Beg To Be Dragged
