Happy Tuesday Everyone! Today’s newsletter: 1,152 words…4.3 mins
🗞 Today’s Edition: Trump-Marcos Alliance, Tesla Diner, Colbert’s F* Bomb, Meghan & Harry’s Netflix Flop, China’s Rare Earths, Zuck’s Island… & much more!
🚨 Watch For: Round 3 of Russia-Ukraine talks are scheduled for July 23rd-24th, at Istanbul, Turkey.
📜THE HIGHLIGHT
One killer insight to stash in your back pocket
Inset (left to Right): John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, Andy Cohen, Anderson Cooper.
🎤 Colbert Goes Nuclear on Trump—and Late-Night TV Backs Him Up
On last night’s episode of The Late Show, Colbert fired back at Trump’s celebratory remarks over the show's cancellation with a sharp, camera-facing “Go f* yourself.”
How dare you, sir? Would an untalented man be able to compose the following satirical witticism? Go [expletive] yourself.
✨ Backed by a who’s-who of late-night: Jon Stewart, John Oliver, Jimmy Fallon, Andy Cohen, Anderson Cooper, and Mark Cuban all appeared to rally behind him.
They even staged a cheeky Coldplay kiss cam spoof with surprise guests like Lin-Manuel Miranda and Weird Al.
🔻 CBS says The Late Show is hemorrhaging up to $50 million annually amid a broader collapse in late-night’s ad revenues and fractured audiences.
👀 But Colbert and his allies are framing it as political: CBS’s parent, Paramount, just settled a $16M lawsuit with Trump and is eyeing a merger it doesn’t want derailed.
Jon Stewart echoed the fury on The Daily Show, slamming a culture of “fear and pre-compliance” and warning of creeping political influence over media.
🤔 Here’s the twist—late-night’s left-wing spiral the past decade hasn’t helped. Hosts leaned hard into partisanship, alienating broad swaths of viewers and eroding trust. Colbert, Stewart, and Oliver doubled down on snark and outrage, but ratings kept sliding.
The math wasn’t mathing: $220M in 2024 ad revenue vs. $439M in 2018.
Trump responds gleefully on his Truth Social:
The word is, and it’s a strong word at that, Jimmy Kimmel is NEXT…thereafter, Fallon will be gone…It’s really good to see them go, and I hope I played a major part in it!
🔥 Bottom Line: Late-night’s funeral might be open-casket—with Trump as the gleeful undertaker.
♟️THE CHESSBOARD
Geopolitics Decoded In 3 Moves
🇺🇸🤝🇵🇭 Trump & Marcos Flex Alliance, Turn Up Heat on China
✍ At the White House, President Trump and Philippine President Marcos Jr. sealed a new trade agreement:
Manila opens its markets with zero tariffs on U.S. goods,
While U.S. imposes a 19% tariff on Philippine exports—slightly below the previously threatened 20%.
They also doubled down on military cooperation, reaffirming joint drills and the ironclad defense pact amid rising tensions near the South China Sea.
🗣 What they said:
Trump hailed Marcos as a “tough negotiator”.
Marcos called the U.S. its “strongest partner.”
💡 Why it matters: This deal isn’t just about trade—it’s a strategic gamble. Washington gains tariff leverage and regional influence, while Manila secures economic + security guarantees. And China? Watching closely.
🇺🇦 Ukraine’s Anti-Corruption Crackdown… Gets Cracked
Ukraine’s parliament just passed a bill that critics say guts two of its top anti-corruption agencies—handing more power to the prosecutor general and, indirectly, to Zelenskyy’s inner circle.
‼ The backlash was instant: Public protests, EU condemnation, and a warning from Transparency International that Ukraine’s EU dreams are now on life support.
Western aid + EU membership hinge on these agencies.
🔍 Why it matters: Zelenskyy’s next move—sign or veto—could make or break Ukraine’s war-time credibility, which hinges on clean governance. If this stands, Western wallets—and patience—may snap shut.
🧲 U.S. Gobbles Up Chinese Rare-Earth Magnets
U.S. imports of rare-earth magnets from China spiked 660% in June as firms scrambled to secure critical tech components—from EVs to AI chips—after Beijing loosened export curbs.
The surge follows last month’s trade deal where the U.S. eased chip restrictions in exchange for magnet flows.
China still controls 90% of global magnet production.
🤝 Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent says a trade deal extension is likely—and expects “constructive” meetings with the Chinese delegation in Stockholm next week.
🔥 Bottom line: Until the West builds its own supply chain, China holds the chokehold on the future. One diplomatic misstep and the U.S. could be building Teslas with fridge magnets.
🗽THE EMPIRE FILES
Political Drama From DC To NYC
Meghan & Harry
💥 Meghan & Harry’s Netflix Dream Implodes in Style
Netflix’s $100M deal with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry (oops, they’re Sussex now), is now officially dead—or at least comatose.
With Love, Meghan tanked at #383 on Netflix’s global rankings (just 5.3 million views in six months)
Harry’s Polo flopped even harder with only half a million viewers and a ranking in the 3,000s.
Despite a second season being shot under the original contract, Netflix insiders say “there’s zero appetite to renew the deal”.
🫠 Add the Spotify fiasco and a canceled animated project (Pearl), and the couple’s $100M media empire’s looking more like the Titanic with every passing day.
🔥 Roast: They best start practicing their curtsies to Will & Kate, or Meg might have to revisit opening briefcases on Deal or No Deal
🏝️ Zuckerberg’s Hawaii Takeover Grows by 1,000 Acres
Zuck just expanded his $300M+ Kauai compound by nearly 1,000 acres, now controlling over 2,300 acres — bigger than many towns.
🏄 The island includes:
Mansions
Underground bunkers
Rumored burial sites
It has stirred new tensions with locals over burial sites and NDAs. Critics say Zuck’s “ranch” looks more like a fortress than a farm.
💡 Why it matters: Zuck’s empire now exceeds Kauai’s annual budget ($311M). Although he’s doing some great conservation work on the island, locals worry “Hawaii won’t look like Hawaii anymore”.
🤖 CODES & POWER
Tech Wars, Crypto Chaos, and AI’s Black Mirror Moments
🤖 The Tesla Diner: Where Burgers Charge Faster Than Your Cybertruck
⚡ Musk’s retro-futuristic Tesla Diner opened in Hollywood. It features:
80 Tesla Supercharger stations
Optimus robots slinging popcorn and servers on roller skates
Two 66-foot LED movie screens blasting Spaceballs on loop
🍔 The menu? American comfort food like burgers, fries, and milkshakes, served in Tesla-themed packaging.
🗺 Musk has hinted at expanding the concept to major cities worldwide if the Hollywood location proves successful.
📱 Telegram Launches Crypto Wallet
🔐 Telegram just embedded its TON Wallet for its 87M U.S. users—letting them swap tokens, and buy USDT (zero-fee) via MoonPay.
The self-custodial vault uses a split-key backup (no seed phrases) and taps Telegram’s Mini Apps for DeFi.
🧠 After SEC battles, this rollout pits it against Coinbase—but skirts regulation via MoonPay partnerships.
🔥 Why it matters: TON is the first self-custodial crypto wallet to be integrated into a major social platform for US users. If adoption surges, Telegram could become the WeChat of Web3—blurring messaging and finance. But will regulators play ball?
📺 FUN FACTS & TRIVIA
Coz Who Doesn’t Like Fun…
Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling, Rhona Bennett, T.J. Fantini, Marque Lynch; The All New Mickey Mouse Club (1989)
The Mickey Mouse Club
Britney Spears joined a roster of future stars on the Mickey Mouse Club (1989) when she beat out Jessica Simpson for the spot. Apparently, Jessica froze during the audition. This show became the launchpad into super stardom for most of these kids.
Can you tell who the other stars are?…No peeking at the names underneath.😉😉
💀 THE ROAST
Because World Leaders Beg To Be Dragged
