Happy Wednesday Everyone! Today’s newsletter: 1,256 words…4.7 mins
🗞 Today’s Edition: China’s Parade Drama, Polish Prez At White House, Mysterious AfD Deaths, Zelensky’s Back In Paris, DeBlasio Endorses Mamdani… & much more!
🚨 Watch For:
“Coalition of the Willing” joint call with approximately 30 European leaders and Trump: Sep 4th
European Commission President Ursula Von Der Leyen to make a State of the Union address: Sep 10th
📜THE HIGHLIGHT
One killer insight to stash in your back pocket
🇨🇳 China’s Victory Parade: Power, Pageantry…& All The Tea
China turned its 80th Victory Day Parade into a cinematic flex—part military cosplay, part geopolitical theater.
50,000 spectators packed Tiananmen Square as jets screamed overhead, tanks thundered past, and 12,000 troops goose-stepped down Chang’an Avenue - all personally inspected by Xi from an open-top Chinese luxury car by FAW.
Dubbed, “The Axis of Upheaval” - Xi, Putin and Kim walked shoulder-to-shoulder for the first time, making for a chilling visual. 26 world leaders were present in total.
The Military Flex and The Show-Stopper:
Over 12,000 PLA troops, 100+ aircraft, and a rolling arsenal of hypersonics, nukes, drones.
“Robot Wolves” - gun-toting, four-legged robots for stealth tasks - because we aren’t scared enough already.
Spilling The Tea:
Kim’s Paranoia: The North Korean dictator brought his own high-security toilet, so foreign intelligence couldn’t steal his DNA. His aides aggressively wiped any surface he touched, removed glasses, wiped chair upholstery, and sanitized meeting rooms.
Hot-Mic: Xi and Putin were caught on a livestream hot mic, speaking about tech advancements in organ transplants and how that could extend life to 150 years - remarking, “achieving immortality” was now possible.
Trump Throws Shade: Since no event is complete without Trump, the President posts this on his Truth Social:
…May President Xi and the wonderful people of China have a great and lasting day of celebration. Please give my warmest regards to Vladimir Putin, and Kim Jong Un, as you conspire against The United States of America. PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP
The Grand Finale: 80,000 doves and 80,000 balloons were released, symbolizing peace amid the war machines. Fireworks and cheers followed.
💡 Bottom line: Beijing’s parade wasn’t just for the domestic audience. It was a carefully staged spectacle meant to reinforce China’s narrative of strength, unity, and technological self-reliance—while drawing global attention to its military ambitions.
♟️THE CHESSBOARD
Geopolitics Decoded In 3 Moves
Poland’s President Karol Nawrocki with President Trump, left: At the Oval Office; right: Watching the Flypast
🇵🇱 🇺🇸 Polish President Goes to Washington
Poland’s new President Karol Nawrocki made his debut overseas visit to the White House today, and was given the full Trump treatment - a rare eight-jet flypast.
Four F-16s flew a missing man formation for a fallen Polish pilot who’s plane crash went viral last week; while four F-35s saluted US-Polish defense ties.
Why the rare honor? Trump pledged more US forces in Poland “if requested,” adding to the 8200 troops already there for NATO. Also, Poland happens to be a huge buyer of American military equipment with a $1.8B deal signed in August.
Talks centered on Ukraine, securing NATO’s eastern flank, and troop deployments, while Nawrocki warned against being “manipulated by Putin”.
💡 Bottom Line: This was a theatrical signal to Russia that the US-Poland bromance is stronger than ever. For NATO’s eastern flank, it’s a welcome show of force.
🇺🇦 🇫🇷 Zelensky’s Paris Power-Up: Weapons & Whisky
Zelensky jetting to Paris for a lawn-side presser with Macron wasn’t for the baguettes. The agenda:
Weapons before winter and locking down European “security guarantees” for whenever a peace deal drops.
Prepping for a “Coalition of the Willing” joint call on Sep 4th with ~30 European leaders and Trump to coordinate long-term aid.
The French President's pitch: “No peace deal without ironclad European backing” and "Strong security guarantees the moment a peace deal is signed"—aka Europe's insurance policy against Putin.
💡 Why it matters: Zelensky's urgent winter weapons plea reveals the gap between diplomatic theatrics and battlefield needs. Meanwhile, Thursday's joint call with Trump = the real test of European unity.
🇩🇪 AfD Candidate Deaths Spark Conspiracy Buzz in Germany
Six AfD candidates have mysteriously died within a 2-week period in North Rhine-Westphalia, ahead of the Sep 14th local elections - forcing ballot reprints and confusion for postal voters.
Police say the deaths show no foul play, noting candidates from other parties also passed away.
Theories about this mystery are trending harder than Taylor Swift with AfD leader Alice Wiedel reposting claims the cluster is “statistically almost impossible”
Elon Musk chimed in saying, "Either Germany votes AfD, or it is the end of Germany".
💡 Bottom Line: The AfD polls at a close second to Merz’s ruling CDU coalition. This tragic coincidence is a stress test for Germany’s elections—and a gift to AfD’s persecution narrative. Musk’s endorsement just turned up the heat.
🗽THE EMPIRE FILES
Political Drama From DC To NYC
Left: Bill De Blasio; Right: Zohran Mamdani
🍎 De Blasio's Endorses Mamdani
NYC's worst and most hated ex-mayor just endorsed socialist Zohran Mamdani for City Hall, claiming his "bold, sweeping agenda" will save the Big Apple.
Insiders mocked the move, noting De Blasio left office with a 26% approval rating, got nearly indicted for campaign violations, had the police in an uproar and descended the City into absolute chaos.
Supporters are elated saying that Mamdani channels De Blasio’s 2013-style progressive energy.
⚡ Bottom Line: If Mamdani wins, expect a sequel nobody asked for: De Blasio 2: Even More Unworkable Ideas.
🏆 Blues’s Clues + Ritzy Manhattan School = Guinness World Record
Blue’s Clues’ original host Steve Burns helped a ritzy Manhattan preschool (tuition: $3,250/month) smash a new Guinness World Record for most viewers of a reading livestream .
Burns read to 17 kids in-person while beaming into 6,535 classrooms worldwide—eclipsing the 1,500-viewer minimum for the new category .
The Goddard School orchestrated the stunt to kick off National Literacy Month, leveraging its 650 franchises to mandate tuning in .
Burns, the self-described “original gangster” of Blue’s Clues, cheered: “We’re in the book, man!”
⚡ Bottom Line: In a world of digital noise, this was a weirdly wholesome win.
🤖 CODES & POWER
Tech Wars, Crypto Chaos, and AI’s Black Mirror Moments
🗝 PayPal Drops Comet Keys + Free AI Perks
PayPal and Venmo are handing out golden tickets: invites to Perplexity’s new AI browser, Comet, plus a free year of Perplexity Pro ($200 value).
The deal plugs PayPal’s new “subscriptions hub” while putting Comet in front of millions—an edge in the AI browser wars.
It’s a strategic gambit. PayPal gets cool points and app engagement; Perplexity gets access to 430M potential users.
💡 The real test? Whether Comet becomes your default browser—or just another subscription you forget to cancel
📦 Amazon shutters Prime Invitee Program
Starting Oct. 1, 2025, Amazon will end its Prime Invitee Program, which let members share fast, free shipping with non-household friends.
Invitees must now get their own Prime account.
The move comes after U.S. Prime sign-ups underperformed this year, with Amazon steering users toward Amazon Family, which restricts sharing to one adult, four kids, and four teens at the same address - mirroring Netflix’s password-sharing crackdown.
💡Amazon’s betting that convenience addiction will outweigh the backlash. Your grandma’s free shipping? Now a $139/year problem.
📺 FUN FACTS & TRIVIA
Elvis's Moves Were NSFW 🎤
During his third appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show on January 6, 1957, Elvis was famously filmed only from the waist up after some viewers and critics complained his hip moves were too provocative and suggestive for television.
💀 THE ROAST
Because World Leaders Beg To Be Dragged
